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Salma Return Flight

Photo: Salma at Dulles airport in June, preparing to fly back home to Tunisia

By: Salma Houmane (YES 2017 - 2018, Tunisia, hosted by CIEE in Tower Lakes, IL)

They all tell you about how hard it is to go on exchange and adapt to a new culture but no one tells you about how much harder it is to go home. Indeed, returning from a year abroad is tough. Let’s be honest. It’s by far tougher than going on exchange in the first place. After a life-changing experience, it does feel like a backward step. Reintegrating is harder than integrating. 

When I was on exchange, I knew that I was going home in the end. Knowing that I had a backup plan and family, friends, and a life waiting for me and supporting me all the time gave me the courage to overcome any difficulty or challenge I faced. But time flew by too fast and I had to leave all the people I love, the life I built behind me, and go back. 

It almost feels like picking up a sport after years of being out of practice. You struggle, but with enough determination, perseverance, and time it will be alright. Don’t misunderstand me. It will never feel the same again. And that’s for the better. Because if it does then you wasted your time and didn’t do anything. 

You go home with a mind filled of souvenirs, some extra pounds probably, and a whole new perspective. You go home and you feel like no one understands you. You might have told your family and friends everything. You might have shown them pictures of your exchange and your new life but they will never truly know EVERYTHING. They don’t know what it’s like to take the yellow bus everyday, to have your name mispronounced and love it, to have deep connections with people all over the world, to feel lonely and sad and cry for days, to reach rock bottom at a certain point, but never regret anything. 

Most importantly, they cannot ever imagine all the people and things you loved and had to leave behind. Because what you had to leave is not just a town, city, or country. It’s the whole exchange experience with its good and bad, and its laughter and tears. And know that it’s okay. They don’t have to understand. 

White House

I want to thank all the YES alumni community who supported me since the moment I saw them at the airport until this moment. I don’t know what I would have done without you. You made me feel like I was part of something bigger than myself : a family outside my family. You opened my eyes and showed me that it was okay to cry, to be confused and to be angry. But most of all, you made me realize that I am not alone. 

A few tips from someone who struggled and had the support of the alumni community to get better. I know you are really excited and want to share your experience and knowledge but please, pause for a second sometimes and ask the golden question "What about you?". Since the moment I got home, 90% of my sentences have started with "during my exchange" or "when I was in the U.S." - which is not a bad thing because I now realize how amazing my exchange year was. But let’s be honest, it’s extremely annoying from another person’s point of view. Not everyone wants to hear about your exchange life just like some people weren’t interested in learning about your native language and culture. It’s okay. 

Moreover, do not compare. Don’t compare yourself to other exchange students. Choose your own pace. But also, don’t compare your host country to your home country. Just like everyone said when you were leaving "It’s not better, it’s not worse, it’s just different." 

Finally, don’t try to change anything in one day. Change takes time. Re-adapt slowly, make efforts, be willing to change again, and most importantly, take your time. You probably lost some friends, got into some fights with your family and missed your host community, and all of this is totally normal. Breathe in, breathe out and put yourself in their shoes. 

My exchange year is over and even though this thought terrifies me, nothing will ever be the same and I will never live through that experience again. And even though I could visit the U.S. and my host family, I won’t attend high school, I won’t take the yellow bus and it won’t feel the same. As cheesy as it may sound, all things have an end whether good or bad. So smile and appreciate the memories you made. Then breathe in, breathe out, and start your new chapter. 


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