By Kristi Shaka (YES 2018-2019, Albania, hosted by Ayusa in Killeen, TX)

In these modern times, our societies are facing various economic and social issues, and I believe that the best way through these problems can only be found in the betterment of ourselves as individual persons. During my exchange year, I admired the fact that many people were not only aware of issues, but also had the willpower to change and create a healthier and more inclusive environment. A very inspiring, rational, and caring person, that did not decide to just ignore the issues that don’t affect him was my host father, Brennan Shanks. Instead of sitting back, he fought against sexism, racism, Islamophobia, and sexual orientation-based hate.

The fact that I come from a country with a homogeneous population made it challenging at first to absorb all of the racial and ethnic diversity in my host state, Texas. Sometimes, an inner instinct, the need to feel part of a group and protect the people you share traits with, made me think in an irrational way and refuse to see the social injustices arising from the tensions between different races. My host father helped me to focus on the facts, consider the given information, and understand the mere truth. Only by understanding and accepting the problem would I be able move forward and try to contribute in solving it. My host dad was a great example of how people can stand up against violence and injustice, no matter the color of one’s skin or the ethnicity of another person. 

In my host family, I also saw how gender barriers were demolished and how a patriarchal family is not necessarily the best or only possible organization of a family. I learned how one’s identity, thoughts, and actions do not have to be within the constraints of what is commonly accepted as masculine. By nourishing this mindset in me, my host family let me express my own personality, do the things I liked doing, and fight for what was equal and right. During my time in the U.S. I learned that a deep voice, a muscular body, and an authoritative mindset, is far from the definition of manly, and a lot farther from what it means to be a good father. I need to thank my host father for teaching me all of this in only one year and only by being himself. Thank you, Brennan, and have a wonderful Father’s Day.