Less than two weeks after returning from the U.S., alumni of the 2019 generation in Albania reflect on the greatest lessons they learned during their exchange year.

TEN LESSONS I LEARNED AS AN EXCHANGE STUDENT

By Aleksis Satka (YES 2018-2019, Albania, hosted by PAX in Lehi, Utah)

1. Not better, not worse, just different.

This is a statement I heard often during our pre-program orientation, but I didn't actually ponder it until I stepped foot in the States. Being an exchange student meant that I got to interact with very different people and cultures. The United States of America, rather than a melting pot, can be compared to a salad, where all the wonderful cultural components play an extraordinary role in making a united but very diverse country, while preserving their own integrity. On the other hand, the exchange students that I got to meet were so beautifully unique and the cultures they represent are very lovely. It was amazing for me to see how inherently similar all humans are, despite all our differences. I loved experiencing how other people see the world and realizing how we are more alike than we are different. All our differences, I learned, are what actually makes sitting at a table with people from a different culture so breathtaking.

2. There is learning in failure and beauty in all people.

I made many mistakes during my exchange year, from roller-skating in the wrong direction when I first tried roller-skating, to showing up at the wrong house looking for my friend because I had gotten the address mixed up. Those two incidents had three things in common: they happened in the U.S., they happened because I didn't know how to do something, and the people involved were very nice about them as they helped me learn. My host mom kindly explained to me that people roller-skate in the same direction so that they don't hit one another, while the people whose door I randomly knocked on redirected me to the right house and explained to me how not to get my coordinates mixed up. I didn't let those mistakes keep me from being bold and having my mind set on trying new things each day. My mistakes helped me become who I am, and so did the amazing support system that my host community created for me as an exchange student and member of their community.

3. Leave your comfort zone, literally.

From swimwear to fuzzy socks, I packed all that I thought I'd need for my exchange year, except for one thing: I kissed my comfort zone goodbye when I got on that plane to DC last August. My family, my best friends, the food and music I was used to...even my native language! Everything rushed behind me in a blur as the plane took off and left the Albanian borders in mere minutes. As I slowly but boldly put myself out there and tried new things, the world became my new comfort zone. I had no idea how brave I was until being brave became my only option aside from staying locked in my room.

4. No country is perfect.

For many people in my country, America represents the Promised Land, where everyone is alright all the time, and there is no such thing as worry. While America is wonderful and many people live happily there, my host parents and every other family had their own struggles, just like every family in my country. Contrary to the popular belief in Albania, America is battling social issues like racism and homophobia, as well as environmental issues.

5. But there is good in every country.

Being away from home reminded me of how amazing my country actually is, despite all its problems. The beautiful mountains, rivers, and fields… The welcoming people and the delicious food… In the same way, America is filled with kindness, love, diversity and beauty. Just like people, all countries have a different story and different reasons for being imperfect. At the end of the day, we are all doing our best to be better, and that's what matters. As an alumna, I feel that it is my moral commitment to help share the blessing of cultural emancipation with as many people as I can, be it here or elsewhere.

6. Confidence and independence are your best friends.

When I had no choice but to step out of my comfort zone, I pushed myself hard to leave my insecurities aside and get out there. I pretended to be a confident person, quickly realizing it made things easier. Then the confidence became real. I was my own helper. My mami (mom) was on the other side of the country, so I had to learn to do my own laundry, take care of my finances, and tend to myself while sick. The same way, I literally left all of my insecurities behind, because nobody in Utah knew about them. As an example, my friends back home knew I was insecure about my smile, but my American friends didn't. So I smiled the widest in the U.S. and that smile kept me going through the hardest times. When I went home, I took it with me, making sure to leave behind enough of it for my U.S. community to remember how much their love helped me love myself.

7. Embrace change.

Just like everything else in the world, we are constructed to change and develop. Change, however, isn't always welcomed by us and those around us, because it is difficult to be comfortable around something that is not familiar. My exchange year was definitely a long road of ups and downs that led to changes in my body, friend group, beliefs, and ways of behavior. I learned more about the environment and our impact in taking care of it. I also learned about major world issues and formed my own opinions on them. I learned about volunteering and serving those around me. I gained a bunch of pounds. Some people back home didn't even think I was the same person when I returned. But change is beautiful. It shows that we are living and experiencing things. We need to love who we are no matter what, and always try to become better.

8. The sky is actually not the limit.

I really had an easy time being true to myself and pushing my own limitations in the U.S. In my host community in Utah, I learned from a lot of amazing people that our only limitations are the ones we set for ourselves. I realized how much potential I have to make a change and how much my ideas are worth a shot. We all have that power within us. Every single human being does. There are no limits to what we can achieve when we set our minds to something. And the only choices I ever regretted about my exchange year were the ones I didn't make. Be FLEXible, say YES and keep moving forward!

9. Sometimes things are meant to last for a short time so that they can have a long-term effect.

My exchange year was a new life within my life. It flew by and I found myself on a plane ride to Albania, with bags filled with memories and a heart filled with love. So many activities were packed into those ten months, and I learned so many precious lessons. The strict time constraint of my exchange year made it so that I tried to live every single day to the fullest and learn as much as I could. It wouldn't have had the same value if it lasted forever. The most beautiful moments are the ones that we immerse ourselves into and then cherish forever. It's not about how many heartbeats those moments last, but how many beats our heart skips while we are in them.

10. Home is where your WiFi connects automatically.

The reason why I love my home in Albania is because of how loved I feel there. My community in Lehi, Utah, felt the same way. Becoming an exchange student comes with the challenge that you will always miss your home, because you can not be in your hometown and host community at the same time. It's a price greater than any amount of money. Aside from the endless love I felt in my host community, every time I entered a school in my district, a church building where I volunteered, or a neighborhood house where I babysat, the WiFi would connect automatically, making me feel like I actually belonged there. When I arrived back home and entered my house in Albania, the WiFi also connected automatically, and the first notification on my phone was a message from my American best friend that read: “Hope you made it home safely, your home here misses you." Oh, how I do miss my home!

FROM BUILDING A HOUSE TO CREATING A NEW HOME

By Xhonatan Mehmeti (YES 2018-2019, Albania, hosted by BFF in Cary, NC)

I just came back home one week ago from my YES experience, and it still feels like I have woken up from a dream. Like one of those dreams from which you wake up wishing it was true and not only just a dream. In fact, it was a dream come true.

I could talk about it for hours and hours and days and days and still have something more to add every time. I could talk about the trip my host family took me on to New York City; or about my American friends, who became my best friends; or about my very first Christmas or Thanksgiving; or Halloween; or prom...every single one of them was a blast. But I will try not to talk for hours, and to instead tell you just one story: the story of how I became useful during my exchange year.

I was hosted by the Allis Family, together with an exchange student from Jordan named Ali Awward (YES 2018-2019, hosted by BFF in Cary, NC). It would take me too much time to explain how much I appreciate them and love them! When Ali and I arrived, my host family was getting ready to move into a new house. On our first full day in the U.S., they told us that they had to go to the new house and do a few things and recommended that we stay home and rest, because we hadn’t adjusted yet. But Ali and I both wanted to help, so we refused to stay home and instead offered to go with them and help at the house.

It was so much fun! We moved a few boards and tore down walls. I almost started to tear down one wall that I wasn’t supposed to! We felt helpful and useful. A few weekends later, we helped at the house again--this time with small stuff. Every week we saw how the people who worked there were transforming a ranch house from the 1970’s into what looked like a newly built house. After everything else was done, I got to do a job I really enjoyed: painting the fireplace following the German smear method. We just watched a few videos in YouTube, and it didn’t seem that hard to do, so I did it!

Meanwhile, Ali and I were also helping at the old house in which we were still living with things like washing the dishes or cleaning up after dinner. And then a few months later, we slowly started packing. Some things we put in boxes for moving, and some we packaged for a local donation center. It was January when we started packing and March when we started to move. Ali and I were always ready to help. We really felt like we were being useful and it made us feel good.

And then we actually moved in and started living in the new house. I offered to replicate my German smear success on the outside of the house, and after making sure it was really something I wanted to do, my host parents agreed. And I got it done with only a few days’ worth of free time! Ali helped me by holding the ladder. When I finished, I felt like I had really achieved something. Then it was on to helping with the front yard, where we planted hostas and seasonal flowers and a few bushes until it looked very nice.

What did I learn from all of this? I learned that if you are able to help, always do! So often, all it takes is a little time and energy. For me, the smiling faces of my host parents or people around me after every time I did something for someone showed me how much they appreciated what I had done, and it made me feel so happy.

WHAT DO YOU MISS MORE?

By Emi Xhuveli (YES 2018-2019, Albania, hosted by World Link in Hanford, CA)

I think we, alumni who have been to the U.S., can all agree that school there is one of the most important and different aspects of our exchange. At first, I was disappointed to learn my school placement because it was the smallest and newest school in town, and I was used to a small school. I wanted to go to a big school and get out of my comfort zone. There were people I met in my host community that didn’t even know my school existed! But as the months went by, I learned to love my school, and I realized that it was the coolest one for me.

The teachers were friendly and I could talk to them about anything. The people tried to be kind. There were all kinds of different classes I could take. For example, I realized I LOVE weight lifting, and I am grateful to the program and to the school for giving me the opportunity to discover this! Another amazing thing about school was dress up days. And then there were the school colors and the school mascot. It’s just something that can't be explained. My school’s colors were green and gold and we were called the golden bears.

Looking back now, I wouldn’t trade the experience there with anything in the world.